Here/ now

I’m here because
when I get older,
I’m starting to look back
into the past to find clues
of how my future might pan out.

I’m here because
looking back into the past,
nostalgia hit me
below the belt
when I least expected it.

I’m here because
with a new perspective on what has happened,
I look at the present,
trying to make sense of my identity,
of being a mother to a child with two nationalities.

I’m here because
motherhood led me straight back to my mother
and how she took the last boat out of communist China,
with her mother and great-grandmother,
looking for a better future in the murky seas down south.

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